Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
