exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
