so explain again why im purple
no
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
