You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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