Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
