you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
