So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
