Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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