I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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