i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
