you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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