Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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