i think my mom watched the whole time
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
