we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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