His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
