She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
