ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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