Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
