we're blogging at a bar
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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