It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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