Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
