hell yes lets make some ravioli
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
