We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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