The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
