thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
