You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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