Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
