Is it normal to miss your booty call?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
