fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
