Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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