I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
