Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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