Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
