Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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