I am puke
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
