office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think I am morally bankrupt
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
