Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
