Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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