2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
