you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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