Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
