I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
