Cold hands, warm shart.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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