I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
