I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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