That's when you crack a 10am beer
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
