So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
