Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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