No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
