Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
