I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
